joulesofmia:

^{i ate my twin in the womb}

unclefather:

unclefather:

at my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be opened to reveal that i am not inside. instead, they will turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the space jam theme song is playing in the background.

nevermind, my mom says i can’t do that.

ohdickins:

littl-ebird:

laviesanspeur:

lightly-living:

iam-livingdeadgirl:

nevvzealand:

one time when i was younger i had some of that no tears shampoo and i wanted to see if it was legit so when i was in the shower i squirted it into my eye and i think i went blind for like three days

i think you may be a bit retarded because no tears meant like no tears in your hair; no tangles….

Please tell me I’m not the only one who thought no tears as in crying too

MY LIFE IS A LIE

NO

well

sourwolf:

it’s ironic that tumblr loves a film about how exciting and amazing it is to be outside

#well she didn’t have wifi so outside was the next best thing